Friday, November 5, 2010

Dwight Schrute Suspends Jumbo Joe!

If we were to compare Gary 'Napoleon" Bettman to the New York head office of Dunder Mifflin, Senior Vice President and Director of Hockey Operations, Colin Campbell would be akin to the bumbling Micheal Scott, which would make vice president of hockey operations Mike Murphy Dwight Schrute.  It was Mr Schrute, um I mean Murphy that handed out a 2 game suspension to San Jose Shark's Star Centreman Joe Thornton for a "illegal" hit to the head on Blues pivot David Perron last night.

The hit in question was one of a trio of  hits on the night that flirted with the new, and  poorly implemented head-shot rule, or Rule #48 as it in known in some circles. The rule is as follows.


NHL Rule 48 - Illegal Check to the Head
48.1 Illegal Check to the Head – A lateral or blind side hit to an opponent where the head is targeted and/or the principle point of contact is not permitted.


Although looking at the three hits, Joe Thornton's was the only one that not only didn't warrant a suspension, it is even debatable if a 2 minute minor should have been called on the play.

For those of you that didn't see the play, it basically went down like this.  Thornton was leaving the penalty box, and was about two strides away from the box as Perron was skating towards him.  At the last second Thornton sees Perron coming, and turns away from him, and appears to brace for impact.  Perron then precedes to skate into Thornton.  It was clearly an accident, which resulted in a 5 minute major, a game misconduct, and a 2 game suspension that will cost $77,419.36 in lost salary.  Here is the Joe Thornton hit

Sure there was contact with the head, but are we now going to suspend people when someone skates into them?   The answer to that, according to Dwight Schrute, Fuck, I did it again, I meant Mike Murphy is a resounding YES!!!  I am guessing Murphy was horny to show papa Campbell he was a big boy now, and could hand out stupid suspensions just like his boss, which I can only assume is his idol, and adversary and the same time.  (In keeping with the Office theme)

Now we move on to the second incident on the night starring the NHL's second biggest douche-bag, Flyers agitator Dan Carcillo and his way worse head-shot on Rangers  player Ruslan Fedotenko.  This play was way more deserving of a suspension than the Thornton hit.  During this play, Fedotenko was looking for the loose puck, and lost his balance.  As he was falling, Carcillo not only made contact with the head, but left his feet on the hit, making the hit even dirtier.  What makes this situation even worse is that the ref not only didn't call a penalty, but told Fedotenko "Don't duck". Basically blaming the victim for being raped. If you watch the play, the man is falling, and not only that, but falling with more than enough time for Carcillo to avoid the collision. Here is the Carcillo hit


So lets review here.  Two plays where you can argue that the contact was accidental, one being a lot more nasty looking than the other.  One involving a guy that hasn't been suspended since 2002, and one that has a history of dirty head-shots, and the lesser in both aspects gets suspended.  How does that  even make sense?  The answer, It doesn't. 


The NHL has used the 'track record' of a player to help dole out suspensions.  Daniel Briere's little cross check the other night got him 3 games because he is a 'repeat offender'. Okay, fair enough, but what about Carcillo? He has a track record a mile long, that alone should have got him a meeting with Colin "Micheal Scott" Campbell.  Here is the incident, which in my awesome opinion should have received maybe a 2 minute roughing penalty. Pay attention to who gets involved after the cross check. Go ahead and guess, I dare you. I bet you can't guess who it is.  Briere's love tap


The problem is no one seems to know what the fuck is going on with this rule.  Actually that is not true, the fans and most of the hockey media seem to have it all figured out, and come to a consensus minutes after the fact. It's the idiots that made the rule in the first place, as well as the stooges paid to enforce it that seem the only ones confused by their own creation.  This does not surprise me though, as for the last decade or so, the clowns running the NHL have shown more incompetence than O.J. Simpson prosecutors (too soon?). 


There was a third incident that took place as well, but I can't remember who it was, and I am too lazy to look for it, but it was a hard hit into the boards from behind that also resulted in no suspension, but it doesn't matter anyway, my point is, when looking at both hits I have added links to, based on the definition of Rule #48 I included in this wonderful article, you have to say that either both hits deserved a suspension, or neither of them did.  You can't have it both ways, unless you are bi-sexual, but that really has nothing to do with this topic.

It is just another example of the inconsistency that is the NHL. Will San Jose appeal? Probably.  Will it change anything? Probably not, egos will not allow for them to overturn any mistake the NHL makes.  They have shown that a million times in the past.  Phoenix Coyotes ring any bells?


Anyway, that is all for now, I think I am going to go watch "The Office" with all this Dwight Schrute talk.
Until next time...
Stay Angry!!

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